Well, today Ohio sat back and took it.

Here’s the view from my window … yeah, that’s the neighbors house .. (my snowed-in boredom is quickly turning into Rear Window..)

and here is my deck and backyard..

A transwoman came through my line today at work!! Her hands were the give-away. Horray Ohio!

Today at work, a plethora of – let’s say – stimulating things happened:

1. The day started with a proud “Hey, Girlfriend!” from my cool, black friend at work. Ohio: believe the stereotypes.
2. I tried to pay special attention to the music played in the store. It’s mind-boggling. “Take my breath away,” and then “Blackbird.”
3. and than I was rickrolled.
4. Someone bought The Idiot’s Guide to Nascar. Seriously.
5. In a fit of boredom, I decided the five most attractive things about a man have to be: ability and willingness to grow a full beard, unbridled passion for something (anything), a German accent, hip bones, and book-lust. sexual.
6. I saw a woman with the smallest face of all time. correction. smallest head of all time. minimal space between facial landmarks and head-horizon when looking at her from straight on. tiny head, tiny voice. hilarity. but it’s probably really inappropriate – kind of a “your team,” but since no one was there. it was just inappropriate.
7. I realized that I’m attracted to (but don’t have a crush on) an 18-year-old bag boy, who looks like Ethan Hawke with acne. He has a name that was some Ohioan’s idea of hip and unique, but is actually just a verb. he’s not planning on going to college. and he hunts for fun. and yet.
8. In my last 20 minutes, Hipster sighting! It’s the same one I’ve been seeing around. Tight(ish) jeans, green hoodie, debatably terrible/hot shoulder-length blonde hair, fully beard. I mean. There’s no guarantee that he’s actually as hip as I’d like to believe, but his only purchases as far as I could tell were box-wine and cigarettes. classy.

too bad my job isn’t more like this

Today is my day off, and it’s 70 and sunny here in Ohio. I just got done doing yoga in my backyard, starting to reconsider whether Oregon really is more green than Ohio. It’s certainly greener for longer.

Anyway, my job isn’t the most exciting, but I’m trying to make the best of it. Mostly, it really emphasizes the curious and often petulant state that is Ohio.

Here are a few tidbits of information and things I encountered in my first two days of work.

The high school senior who trained me doesn’t know who David Bowie is.

Almost everyone buys bananas.

A lot of kids I grew up with are in Iraq/Afghanistan.

I get hit on regularly by bag-boys and other cashiers who aren’t done with puberty.

The only black person I saw en-route to or at my job was employed by Acme.

Unfortunately/thankfully headbands, leggings, and scarves haven’t hit Ohio yet.

Too many people my age have kids. And planned it that way.

In Ohio, “vegan” is synonymous with “wiccan”

I heard the “play your own kind of music” song from LOST on the radio. Purgatory.

The novelty of swiping groceries gets old after about 90 minutes.

I can’t tell if some of the people I work with are mentally disabled. But one of them calls me “Miss Helen,” and I’m not sure if I’m just being polite, or if he thinks I’m flirting with him. But at least I never have to bag my own groceries.

I have another two and a half weeks of this job before I escape to New York, and I already can’t wait. Until them, I’m going to try to ease myself back into running. The standing for 9 hours at work doesn’t do wonders for my back, but maybe running will.