how I feel about being the reference section over my god-given break.

that’s right. LIPS.

1. Abstain from impromptu sexy encounters. They really only complicate things. That is, unless you’re in a serious relaysh where sexy-bits are part of you daily routine.

(not that I’ve had an encounter remotely similar to this in, oh, a year…)

2. Likewise, stay away from uppers and cigarettes. They might seem like a great way to write a thesis in one night, but let’s talk about throwing your sleep pattern outta wack. No one wants that..

3. That said, quit your bitchin’ and get your homework done! It has to get done eventually, so stop procrastinating! If you’re one of those stealth-homework-doers, try masquerading homework as your love interest. Works great for me!! What are your plans this weekend? Oh, I’m pretty much hanging out with my boyfriend. Which nights – we should do something? Oh, I told him we’d hang out..er..every night this weekend. Sorry. Oh, it’s cool.. you two have fun…

4. Avoid the junk and eat healthier foods. Studies suggest fresh fruits and veg stimulate the parts of the brain in charge of memory.

More of this:

Less of this: 

5. Hydrate. Coffee & diet coke don’t count. We’re talkin’ water, people. Sure, you’ll have to pee a lot, but at least you can get up every 20 minutes to stretch your legs while you write that paper!

6. Reward hard work with the occasional slightly-shameful TV show. My drug of choice is True Blood, an HBO series about vampires in the deep, deep, south…

7. Finally, wear more daring lipstick. I am currently in the works of proving that wearing lipstick to class will draw your teacher’s attention, and he or she will likely call on you more often, so you therefore have more opportunities to show off your awesome knowledge and gain participation points.

And also, if you’re like me and you’ve adopted the method of choosing a hot guy in class to keep you on top of your homework and also awake in a rather boring lecture (the kind of boy your never talk to, but only try to impress), then wearing lipstick might win you a little playful eye-flirting, and give you a much-needed boost of confidence and mood.

…but that might just be me.

Let’s talk some more about cadastral land surveys…

Actually, Professor, I disagree. In my opinion, Christopher Columbus skirts the fine line between pompous imperialist and small-minded imbecile…

ooo.. I love it when you talk about Immanuel Kant that way…